Watchdog Nation is ready to release the mid-December standings for The Battle of Rufe Snow.

Wendy’s Hair Studiois in the lead with 15 books.

In second place, so far, is Rufe Snow Dental, which has sold 5 books.

Trailing are Chef Point Café and Rufe Snow Depot Self-Storage. Their sales are so slow, though, that Watchdog Nation hesitates to embarrass them by posting their numbers.

Let’s just say that Rufe Snow Depot has sold just as many books as there are members of the U.S. House of Representatives from North Dakota.

And let’s just say that Chef Point Café has sold as many books as the number of U.S. congressmen representing northern Canada.

Watchdog Nation isn’t sure what the problem is.

Watchdog Nation has sold 537 books in the first seven weeks of this venture. Obviously, there is a burning need to read Dave Lieber’s Watchdog Nation: Bite Back When Businesses and Scammers Do You Wrong.

So obviously, these exclusive retail outlets need a little help. OK, Wendy of Wendy’s Hair Studio – she’s doing fine. Just keep on cutting and dying hair and selling those books, Wendy.

But the others?

Here are some suggested sales pitches for them to use:

Rufe Snow Dental: “You have a choice. We can do this the old-fashioned way, or I can give you some anesthesia if you promise to buy Dave Lieber’s new book when we’re done.”

Rufe Snow Depot: “Please sign this rental contract, and remember that if you don’t pay your monthly bill we will sell all your belongings at a public auction. Oh, and if you want to get back at us afterward, here’s a book with a lot of ideas.”

Chef Point Café: “Buy this book, and you might get a free 3-night, 4-day trip to Cancun. But then again, as this book will show you, you might not.”